Don’t forget to schedule your mammogram!

We had the 78 rpm record of this when I was a kid (I think it was my mom’s), but there was a chunk chipped out of the lead-in groove, so I’ve never heard the beginning of the song. Now, not only can I hear how it begins, but I can watch this great lipsync by the mad men themselves – Spike Jones and his City Slickers!

Yes, against all odd, John McCain came out on top – at least at the annual Alfred E. Smith Memorial Dinner in New York on October 16. It’s been a tradition at the white-tie event (when held during a presidential election cycle) for the candidates to let their hair down a bit and take himself (and his opponent) a little less seriously. McCain (or at least his writers) won this debate hands-down.

First McCain – Part I:

McCain – Part II:

Now, Obama – Part I:

Obama – Part II:

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson

(From thenation.com)

Haiku: not easy
Seventeen syllables is
not enough to fin-

‘At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall. “Big breaths,” I instructed. “Yes, they used to be,” remorsefully replied the patient.’

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Misheard Christmas Carol lyrics.